My buddy Clyde sent me the link for this online ad for a Russian bike rental company and suggested that it might be good for the site. One would believe that a commercial for a charming little business where you can rent a bicycle for the day to bike around and see the city is not really what The Daze of My Life is all about. But I decided to humor him and check it out.
I watched the first few seconds and there was some scantily clad babes being all babe-ish, “No big deal, not really Daze material as lots of ads use chicks in undies to sell shit,” I thought to myself.
Then I got about 30 seconds in and my internal dialogue went from “Boring” to “HOLY SHIT! THIS IS AWESOME…and suddenly I want to rent a bike and bike around Rostov.”
Unknown to the vast majority of the blissfully ignorant population, a dark and shadowy conspiracy has long been going on right under our noses: Screen Gems keeps making Underworld movies.
The latest has Kate Beckinsale reprising her role as bondage-doll warrior vampiress Selene, who’s awakened from suspended animation to discover a future where Brutalist architecture has made a huge comeback and where her kind and their archfoe, “lycans” (werewolves), have been hunted to near extinction in a mass purge as a sinister corporation seemingly plots to finish the job.
Selene also discovers that she has begat a daughter, and an awakened maternal protectiveness spurs her to many a trench coat-flapping, guns-blazing promenade, set to the strains of those chugga-chugga tuff-sounding guitars, which dependably get the blood pumping for a segment of the population.
The action is defined by whirligig balletics and ample gushes of violence; the dialogue is stuff handed down through action movies ever since the first man walked away from a fireball in slo-mo.
The entire production is single-mindedly, earnestly devoted to serving up feats of BADASS, and it succeeds in this devotion to the exclusion of everything else. Plus, it’s KATE BECKINSALE IN 3-D! Enough said.
Emma Watson gave a Harry Potter fan a thrill when she dropped her panties and demanded that he tongue her ass, at the 5th Annual Harry Potter Convention in Pasadena last night.
Emma (who was there to sign autographs for $10 a pop) caused quite a stir when she announced to the crowd that her stomach had been upset all day, and that she felt her butt was unclean. She then signaled out Lance Lattimore from Encino, California to get on his knees and tongue her hole clean. Lance was eager to oblige as the other nerds looked on with envious approval.
Truly Emma Watson and her Harry Potter fans are sick degenerates who will engage in all manner of sexual perversions, and are excellent examples of what happens when books and films about magic and devil worship are allowed to run amok in society.
Sophistication, chasteness and bluntness joined in marriage at Kaviar Gauche’s show in Berlin yesterday when their grand finale was a white plastic wedding-kini fit for a virginal bride who wants to make her guests sigh in their pews by saying “Let’s quickly get past the ‘until we are parted’ shit so I can finally get parted if you know what I mean” without moving her face lips.
Because nothing says “I’ve been saving myself for marriage” like a to-the-floor white veil and nothing says “down to fuck...my wedded husband” like a huge white arrow pointing at your untouched cherry turnover.
You don’t even need to spend money on a bouquet, because no flower can compare to your pristine white labia print. Say YES to this dress monokini. If Kate Middleton could do it all over again, she’d do it like this!
Shortly after news broke that the PIPA test vote scheduled for Tuesday was being postponed indefinitely, Rep. Darrell Issa took to Twitter to announce that voting on the bill’s congressional sibling SOPA was also being postponed.
SOPA is almost dead and thank everything for that because every time I read it I really want a bowl of menudo.
Time for some hot chocolate to warm you up on this cold night—well, it is here in my apartment, anyway. We’ve got a really nice shot of singer Alicia Keys naked. There is no doubting she is a really sexy woman and I have been waiting to see her nude for quite a few years. Enjoy!
