I am annoyed. Maybe because it’s the end of a 3-day hangover after a 15-year drinking binge…or maybe it’s because I decided to try to quit drinking to see if I die from alcohol withdrawal, since dying from alcoholism takes too long.
To be honest, I quit drinking only because I’m tired of blacking out, losing my shit, getting beat up, and fucking whores without condoms and not remembering how awesome a night it was.
I figure I can still be a cunt without the booze, and do all the same things clear-minded, but this could be an alcohol withdrawal hallucination going on. This new thought process could be fixed with one strong drink, and what it comes down to is that I blame the Oscars.
Here is a link to the video of Avi Siwa and Jennifer Lee enjoying hot lesbian sex. You’re welcome, pervs!
Found this picture in our house that my youngest daughter Chloe drew:
Don’t ask me. I have no idea.
Believe it or not, but there are TONS OF ANGRY STAR PHOTOS AROUND OUR HOUSE.
I fear her.
Just to be fair, here’s something my eldest daughter Audrey drew of the stuff on our kitchen table:
I don’t know what the maraca is doing on the table other than my daughter may have been inspired to draw something Spanish based on ALL THE SCREAMING FROM THE LATIN TELENOVELAS THEIR MOTHER KEEPS WATCHING.
On the bright side, at least the shit on the table isn’t angry like Chloe’s star.
Consider this The Daze of My Life’s only coverage of the 2012 Academy Awards. Comedian Melissa McCarthy was nominated for the best supporting actress Oscar for her role in “Bridesmaids.” She lost last night, which sucks as she’s pretty damn funny. So as a consolation prize, we’re putting her on my blog because being featured on Daze is Hollywood’s second highest honor, a close second to winning an Oscar.
I wasn’t blown away by “Bridesmaids,” I think it might be a tad overrated, and it’s hella long, but it’s surprisingly okay for a chick flick. One of the best parts of the whole film is the scene playing during the end credits that shows clips from McCarthy’s character’s sex tape.
Luckily, they’ve put a longer version of the bit online. You don’t need to have seen the movie to enjoy it. In fact, it’s actually better without any context. Let it fuck your eyes and tell me if you found it funny…or hot…or neither:
The 84th Academy Awards was held recently, and Scarlett Johansson was the talk of Hollywood after showing up on the red carpet completely topless.
As you can see in the photo above, Scarlett Johansson shamelessly flaunts her full perky breasts to photographers and fans while walking the red carpet. Clearly this was a last ditch desperate attempt by Scarlett Johansson to win an Oscar even though she wasn’t nominated for an award.
Unfortunately for Scarlett, the academy was unmoved by this brazen display of sluttery, and she walked away empty-handed. Though one cannot help but speculate on whether the outcome may have been different for Scarlett Johansson if her nipples did not clash with the color of her earrings.
Actress Hayden Panettiere proudly tweeted the above photo of her post blowjob cum mustache.
The serenity on Hayden Panettiere’s face could only come from orally servicing a virile Shallow Man. The feeling of sublime contentment felt with a belly full of delicious Shallow Man juice is one of the greatest pleasures a woman can receive.
Clearly Hayden Panettiere is extremely satisfied with her decision to become a part of my harem, so that she may suck off The Shallow Man. Other women would be wise to follow Hayden’s example, and experience the joy of a Shallow Man exploding a river of seed as deep and wide as the Nile from his enormous one-eyed snake into their dirty whore mouths.
