Thursday, March 1, 2012
One reason why “Black Swan” got so much attention is because there’s a scene where Mila Kunis essentially pounces on Natalie Portman and goes down on her. Another reason was director Darren Aronofsky’s ability to tell a complex story about a downward spiral into madness. But really it was that first one, about lesbians and pussy.
Natahalie Portman Sex brought to you by Tube8
Just like the shampooing of Johnny Depp’s hair and the feeding of Posh Beckham, Leap Day only happens once every four years so it’s that day do everything EXTRA.
If you get paid a salary, your ass shouldn’t even be hating life in your cubicle at work. You’re technically not getting paid for it. So leap away and do everything you love most, but do it EXTRA.
If you’re going to eat a breakfast appetizer of a triple decker Pop Tarts and butter sandwich (I’m looking at you, Jessica Simpson), eat an extra one!
If you’re going to do your daily beauty routine of injecting your cheeks with non-FDA approved plastic gel your mom buys online from Thailand (I’m looking at you, Lindsay Lohan), give yourself an extra shot!
If you’re going to spend your lunchtimes jerking off into the kitchen sink while chewing on a cold (and possibly rotten) fried chicken drumstick (I’m nervously eye darting everywhere but the mirror), eat and jerk off out an extra one!
Belated Happy Leap (and EXTRA) Day!
P.S. If reading the word EXTRA so many times took your brain to an insufferable place (a.k.a. Boy Abunda’s face), then you have my permission to call me an extra cunt.
Did you hear that sound? That’s workplace productivity across the country coming to a screeching halt for the rest of the day. And rightfully so, as this new trailer for “The Avengers” exceeds expectations.
Seeing as I am a writer on the Internet, I have some complaints...tiny though they may be. First, what’s the deal with that Transformers thingie at the end of the trailer? It seems kind of weird and out of place. Second and more importantly, why isn’t it May 4th yet?
Like it or not, here’s a video of Janet Jackson sunbathing naked.
Janet Jackson Nude Sunbathing Video brought to you by Tube8
At first I couldn’t figure out why the description said this was a video of Janet Jackson, while the images seemed to show some kind of trained bear. But then I played the video and eventually I put the pieces together.
Telling a girl you need her to send you pussy pics on Facebook because you’ve been spending the last hour jerking off to her profile pic is not a good way to get pussy pics…or make friends, for that matter.
But hey, if you’re stupid enough to do it to a co-worker or your friend’s wife, more power to you, dumb motherfucker. Admittedly, it’s still worth a try, because maybe it’ll work on the right girl…taking you out of your lonely dark place, finally.
Anyhoo, here’s Jahziel Manabat posing topless. Enjoy, pervs!