I’ve been thinking about starting a new blog that’s all about how much I love eating pussy. I’m crazy about stuffing myself in cunt—the taste, the smell, everything about it! Licking the clit, getting my fingers in there and feeling them crushed by the contractions while I’m licking—cunnilingus is my jam, man. When a chick sleeps over I always eat her out the next morning too before the kick-out. I’m no fan of smelly dirty puss but I love the one-day-old, day-after unshowered vag in my mouth.
I can’t understand the men who hate going downtown and who hate the taste. It’s for you nutty haters that “Vagine Cusine” exists. It’s a new supplement that will make a woman’s fun place taste like the best food out there like Eggs Benedict, spicy fajita, and Texas Chili:
Okay, this is just a comedy sketch. “Vagine Cuisine” isn’t real…thankfully. Though now I do kinda want to slather my girl in Hollandaise.
Super hot supermodel Bar Refaeli goes out in her underwear to play tennis. If there was ever a way to get my ass off the couch then this would be the way to do it.
People dislike Kim Kardashian for a wide variety of perfectly justified reasons, but she does have pretty brown hair, enormous tits, and an even bigger butt. Plus, she made this sex tape for us to enjoy. So just this once, kudos to you, Kim Kardashian!
Rihanna brings the sexy to Elle and she ran off her mouth about some bullshit that I didn’t bother reading because Rihanna is some uneducated prostitute and anything that she comes up with is probably words designed by another motherfucker on her payroll.
I have the inside scoop on the bitch from a friend who lives in Barbados. He told me that the Chris Brown beating was likely her hitting herself in the face to report him to the authorities to get him in trouble and ruin him because she thought he was cheating on her or some shit.
My source also told me Bajan women are evil if you get on their wrong side, and they will fucking drag you through the mud and piss on your face if needed—something I could see myself being into because I have no self-respect and when Rihanna looks like this…amazing.
I’d pretty much let her do whatever she wanted to me, including ripping off my penis in some tribal fucking ritual. Shit would go viral and I don’t need it—it’s pathetic and embarrassing anyway. At least now I’d have an excuse….am I right people?!
So here she is in Elle, half-naked, looking good, reminding us she’s crazy but can take a good beating and get over it, unlike all you “I was molested by my dad” or “my boyfriend is abusive” fat chicks who can’t fucking let go. Get over it, bitches!
From the makers of “Nightmare on Elm Street” comes this anti-crack, anti-delusion, and anti-self tanner public service announcement where Lindsay Lohan’s face goes from 0 to 60-years-old in 1 minute.
This shit is like watching a train slowly careen off the tracks before taking out a dump truck carrying broken meth pipes and crashing directly into an old dentures dispensary. This mess is creepy, it’s fascinating and it’s looking into a Faces of Meth kaleidoscope. They should really play this video in front of every child actor and tell them this could be their face on fame. And now, I have to cleanse my eyeballs over a pot of boiling holy water.
Her name is Cinthia Fernandez, she’s in Hombre Argentina, some magazine that I guess is the equivalent of Maxim and other low-grade shit, and she’s wearing a thong, showing off her sweet Latin ass.
Relatively uneventful, uninteresting, and maybe even a little too muscular, leading one to think she may have been born with a penis and early on in her career, she was a hired ladyboy to German tourists, but I’m posting it anyway…you know, to switch it up, and tap into international markets, I’m clever like that.
I figure there’s at least 10,000,000 other Cinthia Fernandez’s in the world Googling themselves and hopefully ending up here, making me rich because I need a private jet to impress some cunt on Facebook. You know, because I like the important things in life.
Today would be better if group sex with models was involved, but the bitches I’m with require heavy amounts of alcohol for that to fucking happen. I’m willing to take on this task. I’m a hero like that. Anyhoo, here’s a video of “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria sucking face with some Latin lesbo dyke. Enjoy, pervs!
