Kelly Brook Has A Tumblr Account. Thank You, Inventor of Tumblr.

Celebs are beating us to the punch by posting/releasing their own bikini pics…and by “us” I mean “lazy pervert bloggers who don’t produce our own content but instead post pictures other people take of bitches with big fucking tits who I think should retire and have a family but won’t because she’s finally made it to a place where people care about her big tits even if it only took her a decade to do it.”

Not that Kelly Brook is an actual celebrity, but she is a big titty bitch who has had sex with celebrities and who has been trying to be famous for as long as she can remember and is at her peak…even though she’s on a decline.

I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Salma Hayek Talks About Her Kid, Has Insane Cleavage

Salma Hayek tells the new issue of Marie Claire magazine that she almost quit Hollywood to raise her daughter Valentina. Gee, what a risk. However would her billionaire husband and she have paid the rent?

From the Marie Claire:

Hayek confesses that she considered abandoning Hollywood after she gave birth. “I think if you are young and you have children, you still have so much to prove. When you have children later in life, you lose a bit of that urge for working,” she explains. “At the time, I was thinking, I can do another movie that may or may not work, or I can be with my child, nourish her, and not miss a moment of this precious time. And if my career is going to end in two years, what’s the difference, anyway?”

It was (husband Francois-Henri Pinault) who urged her to return to Hollywood, Hayek says. “He told me, ‘You feel like this right now, but when Valentina grows a little older, you are going to want to go back, and it might be too late. You are so smart, so talented. You have so much more potential. Don’t you want to see where it will take you?’ I was always trying to make people believe in me, and then I found someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself.”

Say, what? Did Salma say something? I’m sorry about that. I was mesmerized by that sweet rack of hers. Damn, this lady is all sorts of good-looking. Her ass is underrated, too. Oops, I’m distracted again. What are we chatting about? Something about breastfeeding I think. Wait, not that. Oh right, Salma would have quit Hollywood to supervise her nannies while they raised little Valentina.

Oh, Salma, whatever lies pass through those pouty lips of yours are totally fine by me, just keep those sweater puppies on full display. Bitch is acting like she actually has a career. Ho, your career has been getting off jets at LAX and arriving at five-star hotels. I couldn’t name a single thing you’ve been in except extremely tight clothes. Thank you for that, Salma.

Misa Campo is The Hottest Pinay Ever!!!

I decided the bitches I fuck are gonna have to sign a waiver to let me take pics of them to put on the Internet. I figure I’m paying them already, so I might as well get my money’s worth, while sharing the pics with you unappreciative, cocksucking trash.

I’ll let you know how that works out. I feel like most girls will back out…unless they aren’t medicated and passed out…like they normally are.

Anyhoo, here are a couple of photos of my soon-to-be ex-wife, Pinay hottie Misa Campo. Enjoy, sluts!

Angelina Jolie Naked, Hot Lesbian Video

I survived last night’s lap dances and finger-fucking girls who make me question whether I should amputate my finger or just sit here and enjoy the lingering smell I am unable to wash off no matter how much, soap, bleach, vinegar I use…

Good times, good times. Next time, I video!

Anyhoo, here’s a video of Angelina Jolie enjoying the joys of Sapphic sex from the movie “Gia.”

Celebrity lesbian video brought to you by PornHub