I have been hearing stories that kids are having sex as early as 8 or 9 years old now…with each other…thanks to porn. I’ve been hearing about it for the longest time, but I never really believed it.
Sure, in the ‘70s and ‘80s, people were fucking at 13 or 14, but the majority of chicks, the mainstream weren’t even sucking dick unless you made the bitch your girlfriend. Now they’re having rim job parties at 15 according to Oprah. Oh yes, gangbangs and good times.
But I never saw it firsthand. I couldn’t figure out where it goes down…until yesterday. I was at park walking my dog and behind a cluster of bushes was two teen couples fully banging, with penetration and everything…only it wasn’t hot. It was just awkward and pretty much out in the open, like it didn’t matter.
I didn’t stick around to get arrested, but I figured I’d relay the info to you perverts who are less paranoid. So if you want to find out where teens go to fuck, go to the park. Schoolgirls seem to slip their panties to the side there and mount their guy friends there.
Anyhoo, here are some sexy bikini pics of Pinay hottie Bangs Garcia for FHM. Enjoy, motherfuckers!
I didn’t watch Rihanna’s new video, partially because I really have better things to do with my time, but mostly because I don’t really give a fuck about Rihanna and I hate her fucking music and the fact that at the Time 100 People Awards, she said she’s glad they awarded her because she’s just being herself or some other bullshit lie like her shitty songs polluting our brains and the airwaves.
I can assume the video is offensive, just based on the title, and I’m hoping there is a backlash from China, stopping production on her merchandise. Because if someone said they were a princess of anything of mine, especially a gutter black chick from the islands who was a child prostitute, I’d be pretty mad at how entitled she felt. I’d likely arrest her for the false claim as we all know a percentage of her idiot fans probably think she’s actually a Princess of China, which is bad for the Chinese’s global image.
The only thing she’s a princess of, even with her hundreds of millions of dollars, is her own cunt life that luckily we don’t have to deal with or listen to her whine, because newly rich trash is the fucking worst.
The above photo reportedly of a young Kim Kardashian naked has just been leaked to the web.
This picture of Kim was obviously taken before she had plastic surgery to have chicken grease injected into her tits and ass in an effort to become irresistible to blacks.
It appears as though at one time in Kim Kardashian’s life she was not a hopeless mudshark whore, but just a regular whore, who at least had enough sense to know that a woman’s place is in the kitchen not out trolling for men with her surgically modified bulbous ass.
The Department of Health should come in and haul this filthy mudshark’s fat ass away for blatant unsanitary conditions while preparing food in the kitchen. From the looks of her, it’s been awhile since she last bathed, and her stink holes are no doubt emanating a foul disgusting stench.
And what about that poor defenseless dog sitting nearly below her enormous stinking butt? The dog could be crapped upon at any moment, and catch lice or other undesirable things from her as well. The agency for animal cruelty should cite her big time for that one for sure.
I have this move that gets me off when I am in need of female attention because my girlfriend isn’t cutting it and because my social skills don’t allow me to seduce the kind of girls I want…forcing me to go out and grab it…without actually going out and grabbing it because that shit always ends in rape and rape always ends in murder…and murder always ends up in jail…and jail always ends in rape…and sometimes murder. It’s the vicious circle of rape.
So instead, I go into a public place. I find my target, usually a hot 18-year-old. Then I identify where here head is, move in, and look her in the eye passionately while hypnotizing her with my loving gaze. Afterwards I place my penis, usually clothed, on her hand and smile. Sometimes they scream, sometimes they squeeze. That’s what usually happens…until today, when the cunt (who clearly watches too many movies and spends too much time on the Internet desensitized) decided to be a comedian and say, “Where is it? I feel nothing. Are you a woman?”
And if that wasn’t worse enough, she called over her friends and strangers and was like, “this guy tried to put his dick in my hand but he has no dick” all while holding my dick.
I love my life…
Anyhoo, here are pics of Cristine Reyes as the sexiest hitchhiker ever. Enjoy, sluts!
The other day I posted some pics of Brooklyn Decker in GQ Turkey. Well apparently, she also snuck her way into the American GQ, like a crafty little retard with Down’s Syndrome who doesn’t actually have Down’s Syndrome. Her face just kinda looks like she does, and I like to point it out, since I am overly analytical of pictures I see of bitches being marketed to us as being hot, giving other bitches insecurities about not looking like they have Down’s Syndrome, only to spend their nights building contraptions at home to make their head look more like a water head. And while yes, I am all for giving girls an inferiority complex about being fat or having shitty tits, but to want to look more retarded is just weird.
That said, as a wife to a professional athlete, she does a good job staying fit. And when she’s half naked and Photoshopped, she hardly looks like the institutionalized chronic masturbating people left there by their parents who didn’t want them fucking up their lives at the home I used to change diapers at.
