Top 10 Slutty Kim Kardashian GIFs

Kim Kardashian…everyone seems to have an opinion about her. Some think Kim is a lowlife piece of trash who only became famous because of a sex tape. Others think Kim is a misunderstood beauty who is overly criticized by a cynical public.

Love or hate her, there is one thing we all can agree on: Kim Kardashian has one hell of a fat ass. So with that in mind, here are the top 10 slutty Kim Kardashian animated GIFs.

10. Kim Kardashian showing what it takes to make it to the top…no not determination—big titties and the willingness to show them off!

9. Kim’s dance partner tries to control the wobbling of her ass. He’d have better luck trying to stop the waves in the sea.

8. Kim Kardashian showing off her flabby gut and bulbous breasts. If you look closely you can see the stains where billions of future NBA and NFL players met their end.

7. Does this look like a porn star to you? Kim Kardashian is a fashion icon, damn it!

6. Kim Kardashian needs to be spanked harder than that. Unfortunately on impact with Kim’s ass, that man shattered every bone in his hand.

5. Kim Kardashian preparing her body and mind for the NBA All Star weekend.

4. This is how Kim Kardashian sucks a popsicle. Did I mention she claims she is not a porn star?

3. Kim Kardashian’s enormous ass goes through jeans like they were Kleenex.

2. Is there anything more majestic than a mudshark in her natural habitat?

 
1. The sexiest Kim Kardashian GIF ever! Gets me hard every time I see it.

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Top 5 Bizarre Sex Toys Molest The Shallow Man’s Mind

Every once in a while, we do this bit where we collect bizarre sex toys from around the web. I can’t do it too often as I usually break down in tears due to the horrors I find.


5. Unicorn Horn Dildo

Stuffing this into a chick’s vagina unlocks the door to the magic realm of Narnia…but then you have to crawl into her magic doorway-slash-snatch to be transported there.


4. Bike Dong Sex Machine

Here’s my ex-girlfriend biking to work in the morning.


3. Platinum Diamond Vibrator

Huh. This one looks normal, nothing strange here…except it’s made out of platinum. The end is rimmed with diamonds, and it costs $3,250. Ladies, for half of that I’ll rim the tip of my cock with diamonds and you can use me as your pleasure device whenever you want.


2. Rabbit Tail Butt Plug

I’m gonna save this one for Easter.


1. Prolapsed Fuckable Asshole

This is a distended prolapsed asshole for sticking your dick in. Got to say, this is one sex toy replica that is probably more fun to fuck than the real thing.

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Iza Calzado in a Bikini is Perfection Achieved!

I was just walking behind this girl in tight short shorts and I was watching her ass. If anything, it was keeping me motivated to not take a break or pass out from being obese and unable to stand, let alone walk.

When I finally caught up to her, pretty much about to pass out or puke, asthmatic coughing and feeling my heart in my neck, not due to love but due to a high fat and high sodium diet…I saw that she had DD tits. But more importantly, I saw that she was probably 16 years old. Making me feel like a pervert, but wondering if hormones in the food would stand in court. I mean, if we could prove her DNA was that of an 18-year-old because the corporations started fucking with what we eat due to government subsidies and Congressional lobbyists…I lost my train of thought.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, would I be left off had I accidentally had sex with her? I’m gonna go with YES.

Anyhoo, here are sexy bikini pics of the very hot Iza Calzado. You’re welcome, sluts!

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Kaye Abad Brings The Sexy To Maxim

I went out to a bar drinking with some old friends last night. I’m trying to plan a porno shoot. Not one we star in, just one that reinvents the porn game.

I realized why I don’t leave the fucking house. It’s because I fall in love with every girl I see. All of them in tight pants or shorts, shaking their hot little asses to the music. All of them better than the pig I share my bed with. All of them ignoring my requests to watch them pee, or to let them sit on my lap and pretend I am Santa—pretty much reminding me why rapists exist. But more importantly, reminding me why I have to try not to leave the house. It’s because I may fall in love with life, knowing it’s filled with such accessible sluts, totally re-inventing this site and making it about hot chicks, romance, and big tits. Then again, maybe that’s just what this place needs.

Anyhoo, here are pictures of the incredibly sexy Kaye Abad. Enjoy, pervs…and fuck you very much, Parokya ni Edgar!

 

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The Ride of the Batmen

(click to enlarge and hit play)

I’m not sure if this is one person who owns all these vehicles, or if it’s some club of “Super Friends” who meet up and ride around the country like this, but whatever the case, it’s FUCKING AWESOME!

It really is cool to see the progression over the years. The middle three are the most similar, and then we just go into full-on tank mode with the Nolan era. Nothing terribly bat-like about the latest Batmobile, but it might be the most badass of all of them. Is that thing seriously street legal? You could flatten a Kia with it.

Only two more months until “Dark Knight Rises”…

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Maria Sharapova Looking Hot and Sweaty at French Open

Maria Sharapova is in action, playing the in the French Open at Roland Garros. And it’s so exciting seeing how hard she works for every victory in the tennis field. All those muscles tensed, her face showing concentration in every move make this sport one of the hottest ever. And of course, the short dresses she wears, to reveal her long legs.

One great advantage that sportswomen have is their beautifully sculpted body. The strict routine they’re into every day make them look amazing, too. Maria Sharapova is also well known for the noises she brings out due to the effort she makes, so she’s giving quite a naughty performance.

Anyway, I wish Maria Sharapova all the luck in the world to win the Roland Garros and I’ll keep my eyes on her in the next rounds, admiring her sweaty, restless body. Hey, since she didn’t choose a modeling career, I have to comply and adjust.

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The Avengers Finally Get Their Party

Is it too late to still be posting Avengers stuff? Are we all just getting in Dark Knight Rises mode now?

In any case, I’ll give it a shot. It was the most memorable moment from the trailer, and one of the better parts of the film, but now with this GIF, the Avengers finally get the party that Tony Stark promised.

Add this to the GIF of Hulk smashing Loki, and you can relieve the best moments of the film again and again forever.

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