Marloes Horst Supermodel Titties

Marloes Horst is amazing! This is probably one of the hottest looking models around and she’s only 23. I have no idea when these pictures of her tits were taken or what magazine these pictures of her tits are from, but I do know they made my day better.

I’m so used to seeing old, busted, obese chicks with either sloppy, awkward, small, uneven mastectomy titties, or stripper implants. So seeing a natural beauty done up with Photoshop, make-up, lighting and pro photography, instead of broken down, damaged women with sad faces, herpes scabs and welts from drug use, is a nice reminder that not every pussy out there should be feared or should make you sad after fucking it.

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Ginger Spice Horrible Upskirt of the Day

Ginger Spice has some weird shit going on up her skirt that she decided to share with people at the X-Factor auditions because maybe she got confused and thought that it was the X-Files and her X-File looking mystery that lives in her panties needed to be shared, or more likely maybe she wanted to see her X-Factor that got her in the Spice Girls in the first place. It all starts in the pussy. That’s where a lot of famous talent really live.

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Michelle Trachtenberg Titties for FHM

Michelle Trachtenberg is usually a pudgy, uninteresting-looking girl who people were into because she played the little sister on “Buffy” and who luckily for her people are still into because she played the little sister on “Buffy.” Because any dude who watched that show was likely a socially awkward virgin loser who can’t let go of the past, partially because those were the best years of his life, but more importantly because during that time he made a vow to always love Michelle Trachtenberg for the rest of eternity because in his mind they are soulmates. Obsessive loser fans are so passionate.

That said, I always just blew her off as someone on TV who are still around because virgin losers never let go of the past. It’s a nerd thing. But thanks to FHM South Africa, it turns out she’s got tits…and tits are really where it’s at. So virgin loser fan base or not, all of a sudden she’s relevant to the masses and the new generation who have no idea who the fuck she is. Hurray for tits!

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Hot Slut Of The Day: Finn, the Queen’s brother/bitch/lover from “Snow White and The Huntsman”

At the beginning of that “Snow White and Thor” mess (or as most of us called it “No Kristen Stewart Movie Should Be This Damn Long”), a hologram Rod Serling should pop up to tell us that we’re about to enter the Twilight Zone where Kristen Stewart is declared “The Chosen One” by a tree/moose/creature thing…where Snow White is always smelling a fart…the ‘shrooms are on ‘shrooms…where everyone looks like a rejected “Game of Thrones” extra…where Charlize Theron breaks the high camp meter with her overacting (in her defense, bitch had to act for both herself AND Kristen a.k.a. the female Keanu Reeves) and more importantly, where the Queen’s hot piece albino brother Finn doesn’t get enough screen time.

In case you’re waiting to see this shit when it comes out on torrent (if it hasn’t already), I won’t give too much away, but I’ll just say that the Queen needs to take her mirror to the Geek Squad, because that shit is broken. Obviously, the creepy-faced Finn is the most beautiful, fairest and glamorous in all the land. That picture above doesn’t do him any justice. Finn is always giving us some Village of the Damned meets Peter Pan Dude realness.

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Irina Shayk Half-Naked Video Interview

 
I want to start this post by saying, “I don’t give a fuck about anything Irina Shayk has to say about anything,” partially because she’s got a vagina, but more importantly because she’s just some groupie whore who managed to get a modeling career that became pretty high profile. Because admittedly, she’ fucking incredible looking, but also because she was fucking strategically, and locked onto the perfect high profile fuck buddy.

I do give a fuck about watching her posing, all tanned and half-naked...and the accent isn’t so bad, but that’s because I am a Russia-loving motherfucker—from sex trade to communism to vodka to Olympic medals, and to being as ice emotionally. Good times.

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