Pamela Anderson: A Vision Of Loveliness As Always

Oh, you can always count on Pamela Anderson to sprinkle a little of her natural grace and beauty on your day. 

Pamela was gracious enough to attend some store opening in West Hollywood last night even though it looks like she just had an orgy in a giant cement mixer set to high. 

If you asked her how many fingers you were holding up, she probably would’ve shrugged and then fucked ‘em. 

This is some “broke off, dozed off” shit dipped in bronzer and dried under a heat lamp. Let’s hope we’re all stumbling around like this mess later tonight.

Steve Jobs Through The Years

Those are awfully big shoes to fill. Good job and Godspeed, sir!

The Shallow Man Poetry: Sitting On A Park Bench

Sitting on a park bench

Eyeing little girls with bad intent

Feeding pigeons bread crumbs

And drinking from my bottle of rum

Many pigeons come up to me

They come and go and seem so free

I pick one up and pet its head

I like this one I shall name him Fred

Hello, Fred my new friend

You are a very nice little pigeon

I grab his neck and twist

For some reason I just could not resist

My newfound friend Fred

Lies at my feet, very dead, dead, dead

Stupid, dirty, little bird

That will teach him to leave a turd on my head

The Whore Unemployment Line According To Parasite Hilton

Paris Hilton’s “The World According To Paris” a.k.a. “T.W.A.T. Pee” has been quietly shitcanned.

Vulture reports:

Hilton’s series was pretty much dead on arrival, earning barely 400,000 viewers for its June debut and sinking even lower in subsequent airings.

So the first episode of her show was watched by less people than she’s given blowjobs to in the VIP section of Tao. Specifically, around 400,000 pairs of eyes watched a useless skank show us not-so-new ways on how she’s useless. On a positive note, the new expression is “…suck harder than Paris Hilton’s ratings" instead of “…suck harder than Paris Hilton on any given day.”

If the TV execs marketed “T.W.A.T. Pee” for what it really is, Parasite Hilton’s quick demise from the face of relevancy, maybe more hos would’ve watched it to see that bitch go down in real time.

In these troubling times, it’s comforting to know that reality TV viewers actually can reach inside themselves and find a tiny glimmer of taste that they themselves didn’t believe still existed.

P.S. Shame on every Pinoy who flocked to that vapid slut’s event at SM Megamall!

Tasteless Joke of the Day: J.O.B.

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says, “I’m a Y. U. P. P. I. E., you know...Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.”

The second guy says, “I’m a D. I. N. K. Y., you know…Double Income, No Kids Yet.”

The third guy says, “I’m a R. U. B., you know…Rich, Urban, Biker.”

They turn to the woman and ask her, “What are you?”

She replies, “I’m a W.I.F.E., you know…Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”

Lucy Pinder Is Naked, Wonderful

In case you thought I died in my sleep, I’m sorry. I survived. And since I’m like an abusive boyfriend (who is like Thor’s hammer in bed), here’s a reminder why you always come back to this blog even though your friends think I’ve brainwashed you and your dad has threatened to shoot me on sight.

Lucy Pinder’s 2012 calendar is about to come out. You can see the full previews below but if I were you, I’d sit down first.

Besides posing naked a lot, I have no idea what Lucy Pinder does. I know she’s hot and sexy, but other than that, no clue. 

I honestly feel like she’s wasting her life. I mean, SHE HAS HUGE BOOBS! She could be an astronaut or a scientist if she really wanted to be.

Epic Photo of the Day: Nice Spot

The two most important requirements for major success are: first, being in the right place at the right time, and second, doing something about it.