Saturday, November 12, 2011

Oh Hell Yes: The Invisibility Cloak Now A Reality!!!



HOLY SHIT CLOAKING DEVICES EXIST NOW!!! KIND OF. That’s just insanely hot!

From Wired:

Researchers from the University of Texas at Dallas have hijacked one of nature’s most intriguing phenomena—the mirage—to make an invisibility cloak. It can hide objects from view, works best underwater and even has a near-instant on/off switch.

To understand how it works, you need to first grasp the basics of the mirage effect. This unusual experience, sometimes seen in the desert or on hot roads during the summer, can trick your brain into seeing objects that aren't really there.

It happens when a big change in temperature over a small distance bends light rays so they're sent towards the eye rather than bouncing off the surface. So if you see a pool of blue water in the middle of the desert it's just the blue sky being redirected from the warm ground and sent directly into your eye. Your brain, being the clever little computer that it is, swaps this mad image out for something more sensible: a pool of water.

With that in mind, the researchers wanted to find a material that has an exceptional ability to conduct heat and quickly transfer it to surrounding areas to mimic the light-distorting temperature gradients of the desert. That material, they found, was sheets of carbon nanotubes.

The nanotubes—one-molecule-thick sheets of carbon wrapped up into cylindrical tube—have the density of air but the strength of steel. They’re also excellent conductors, making them an ideal material to exploit the “mirage effect.”

Through electrical stimulation, the transparent sheet of highly aligned nanotubes can be quickly heated to high temperatures. By transferring that heat to its surrounding areas, a steep temperature gradient is generated, which causes the light rays to bend away from the object concealed behind the device. Therefore, the object appears invisible.

Nice. I only saw this today but it’s about time we started to make stuff invisible. But I don’t like the Japanese having invisibility technology. Japan is great, Japan is awesome, but they’re also perverts.

I worry that they only care about invisibility so businessmen can go places and jack off. They could be behind you right now, jacking off, and you wouldn’t even know it.

Scenes From My Dreams: Starring Harald Glööckler and Brigitte Nielsen


If you took the ovary of a gilded unicorn, fertilized it with the sperm of a rhinestone peacock, incubated it for 5 seconds on a crystal chandelier’s light bulb and then stuck it under a microscope that doubles as a kaleidoscope, this is what would bless your eyeballs. IT’S LIKE A BEAUTY BAPTISM!



This is the most beautiful creature in Germany the world the universe Harald Glööckler leaving Brigitte Nielsen in the kind of awe that makes you coo out a seizure-inducing orgasm in slow motion.



Natural beauty intertwined with natural beauty at the opening of Harald’s “Showroom of Glamour” in Berlin yesterday evening. True story: The record for the longest sunset ever was set yesterday, because the sun was so mesmerized by these two beauties that it refused to go away.



This is like a production of “Phantom of the Opera” performed by vampires who cut the dried blood they snort up with diamond dust. Harald is totally what the Phantom would look like if he got a makeover at the MAC counter.



Everything about this is perfect! Harald and Gitte even look stunningly gorgeous when they pose with the bone of the farm animal they scarified to stay this beautiful. And we pray…

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Wrap Up: Miranda Kerr in a $2.5 Million Bra


The Victoria’s Secret fashion show was held last night in New York and Miranda Kerr wore a diamond-encrusted bra valued at 2.5 million dollars. It was the most elaborate way anyone could think of to tell the Occupy Wall Street hippies to fuck off.



Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Wrap Up: Erin Heatherton’s Ice Wings


As usual, wings were a big part of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, like these ice wings they put on Erin Heatherton. So obviously this is something you’d only wear if you lived somewhere cold.



Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Wrap Up: 3 Things I Know About Anne Vyalitsyna


I only know three things about Anne Vyalitsyna:

1. She’s a Victoria’s Secret model.

2. Adam Levine from Maroon 5 is her boyfriend and they played the Victorias Secret fashion show last night and that’s why he’s draped all over her.

3. She has a good name for a vampire.