If Jane Austen had written this Christmas card, it probably wouldn’t end by saying, “…love and happiness for you you all.” There would be only one “you” and a comma after “love.” But on the front would be a picture of some frumpy virgin wearing a big itchy dress and gloves and a cape and a straw bonnet.
The card by Vanessa Hudgens however has a picture of Vanessa in a sexy Santa outfit. Therefore Vanessa Hudgens is obviously a better writer than Jane Austen, and if any historian says otherwise it’s only because they’re homosexual.
Former Disney star Ashley Tisdale’s ass is even hungrier than we originally thought! After posting a picture of Ashley Tisdale’s butt swallowing her bikini bottoms yesterday, we unearthed even more photos of Ashley’s anus feasting on her swimwear.
As you can see in the photos below, Ashley Tisdale’s filthy whore of an ass greedily devours her hot pink bikini, easily absorbing it into her anal cavity. This pictures leaves little doubt that Ashley Tisdale’s behind is hungry for insertion, and I fear it won’t be satisfied until it gets a virile Shallow Manhood stuffed deep inside of it.
Yes only a Shallow Man can stop Ashley Tisdale’s ass from sucking in everything in sight. Once again it falls on me to save the world from evil. God give me strength!
Is this a picture of “Twilight” star and plain Jane actress Kristen Stewart naked? If it is they certainly airbrushed the hell out of her because I do not see a single cutting scar or self-inflicted cigarette burn on her entire body.
This nude photo is like all things that involve Kristen Stewart: uninteresting and offensive. Even so, Kristen Stewart must stop trying and failing to stimulate men with her frumpy body, or The Shallow Man will be forced to take action in the form of a double-ended dildo.
What’s that saying? You can Photoshop a skid mark, but it’s still a skid mark. The Kardashians proved that saying right for their annual sacrifice to the Adobe Gods.
This is the picture that’s on the cover of the pamphlet Lucifer hands you when you’re about to sign your soul over to him and he wants to make sure you’re making an educated decision that’s best for you.
These whores didn’t even pose together. They took their pictures separately, threw them all under the silhouette of three giant titty balls (or are those used condoms?) and used the Constipation Tool to make all of them look like wax mannequins with the hard shits.
They also pulled pounds of Sasquatch blubber from Khloe’s legs and piled it all on Kourtney’s ass. Not to mention that Pimp Mama Kris Jenner is the only one not wearing black and white. A wreck. But it was nice of those Kardashians to represent Kris Humphries’ personality with that wooden chair in the back.
And this mess also comes in 3D. When you put on the glasses, a double stream of Ray J’s piss comes splashing at you. Happy Pissmas from the Kuntrashians!
