Here are two pics of Kate Hudson topless from the movie “Almost Famous.”
Is there anything hotter than a flat-chested actress with a lumpy stomach in oversized panties? Yes. Yes there is. Thousands of things, actually. But we don’t have any of those things right now. What we have is Kate Hudson.
Half a slice of RiRi’s Umbrella video, cut into cubes
An entire box of Crayola pastel chalk, melted
A handful of nose cartilage, coarsely crushed
An entire bag of generic brand silicone (preferably a bag that is past its expiration date)
Directions: Throw all ingredients into one of Li’l Kim’s old pink wigs, securely tie wig up with a garland of tarantula legs, throw it on the ground and pound with your ass until your jumping bowels are hitting your brain so much that you start to experience a slight epileptic seizure.
Serve on a garden hoe with Paris Hilton-sized IQ. If a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ is not available, serve on a brain dead rake. If a brain dead rake is not available, just serve on a Kardashian.
I was a bit late discovering smoldering beauty Eva Mendes. The first film I noticed her in was “Training Day.” I have been a fan of the sexy Latina ever since. She has played some hot roles but has never done any real full frontal nudity or sex scenes, sadly.
So once again it is left to The Shallow Man to work my magic and fill this void. Pretty fucking real looking, huh? God bless Photoshop!
