“The Muppets” Movie Review

Heaping with love for the felt puppets, for implausibly giddy musical numbers and for getting stuck in childhood, “The Muppets” re-launch is as it should be: the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational treat you could wish for in a movie.

Verdict: It’s nice to see the gang back together. And when Kermit busts out the banjo for “Rainbow Connection,” you might even go for your lighter.

Grade ★★★★ out of 5 stars

“The Devil Inside” Movie Review

From the amateur acting, writing and directing to an ending that is shocking only in its stupidity, “The Devil Inside” will make you puke for all the wrong reasons. It sure as hell won’t be terror.

Verdict: After seeing this crap movie, we’re all ready to scream our rage at the screen.

Grade ★ 1/2 out of 5 stars

“The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” Movie Review

If ever an atmosphere could be described as dank, fetid yet strangely luxurious, it’s the chill seeping through every corrosively beautiful frame of “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”

As classy a film as could be made from Stieg Larsson’s sordid page-turner, David Fincher’s much-anticipated return to serial-killer territory is a fastidiously grim pulp entertainment that plays like a first-class train ride through progressively bleaker circles of Hell.

Verdict: With director David Fincher’s brooding intelligence and technical mastery on full display, the movie is a master class in sinister style: tense and deeply uncomfortable.

Grade ★★★★ out of 5 stars

Lucy Pinder’s Big Tits Just Because

I know there’s no real point in posting these pictures of Lucy Pinder, you know, since they aren’t new or revolutionary and she doesn’t really matter. More importantly, Google will bring you tons of her naked pics, which is far more interesting that her stuffed into leather lingerie.

But sometimes, big tits in leather lingerie, although they don’t accomplish much, are all we really need. I like to think of it as a spiritual journey…and this just happens to be one of those times. Anyhoo, here are some more pics of her…for no reason other than that she has big tits. Enjoy, pervs!

The Photoshop Awards: Madonna In Lingerie For Her New Album

Here are some pictures of old lady Madonna in lingerie to promote her new album like she’s not pushing 60. They should have just hired a young model and Photoshopped her to look like Madonna, because it would probably require less Photoshop than making Madonna look like this.

But as a man with nostalgic tit appreciation, I’m gonna post this shit and go along with her lie and pretend it’s still the early 90s and I’m jerking off to her “Truth or Dare” movie. I have that ability…some call it a talent, others a curse.

Either way, here’s the “digital sketch” of Madonna, because this shit is no longer considered a photo.

Ashley “The Face” Tisdale Hides Her Face in Hot Shorts

I’ve had an “Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch” running on the site since forever. I think it started when she one some Teen Choice shit award for being the hottest chick of the year…and I got offended knowing that she either paid for that title, or maybe a call center of people were hired to vote until they knew she was a winner. It was a scam and I felt the need to point out all that is wrong with her—all those asymmetric issues, even after a nose job, just to level the playing field and not let her ego get out of control.

Well, it looks like my hard work has paid off, because here she is with her hot body, because at least she took it upon herself to get fit on her rise to the top, since at a certain age, awkward faces don’t matter so much when all the other women are obese.

Anyhoo, back to all my hard work paying off. You see, any hot girl who wins the hottest girl of the year award would be confident enough to walk around without using a purse to block out her face. Which means Tisdale knows she’s ugly…and girls who know they are ugly are always down to fuck for some male attention that makes them feel wanted and loved. Low self-esteem is the reason I’m not a virgin.

So finally Tisdale is in some pics I find erotic as fuck. Keep on hating your face bitch, you have every right to. We understand and hate it too.

Paz de la Huerta is Crazy and Topless

Paz de la Huerta is exactly the kind of girl I like hanging out with. She looks like a fucking wreck: high, drunk and insane all at the same time, making her ready and willing for adventure, always eager to pull out her tits and pussy for no reason at all, and her body’s hot as hell. It’s the perfect combination I need for a good time, because I like girls who are exhibitionist sluts, even if I never know where their crazy is going to take them…and me.

She’s the kind of girl you let sleep over and wake up with a knife to your throat when her bipolar disorder kicks in…or who you find in the basement smearing feces on herself…or who hears voices in her head that make her paint your entire apartment black.

She’s the kind of girl who you date and has no loyalty, because she lives in the moment, in her own world, and has no clue what the fuck is going on…the kind of girl you can marry and never know who she is out fucking when she doesn’t come home at night.

She’s one of those keep-you-on-your-toes, damaged, hipster bitches I’d love to eat out, despite all the cock her hipster cunt has seen. I’m just into this kind of thing even though I know nothing good comes from this kind of thing. Why? Simply because normal bitches are fucking boring.