As you can see in the video above, actress and slut Hayden Panettiere’s breasts have miraculously gotten bigger. Praise be to God!
Ever since Hayden became a sex slave to The Shallow Man, Life has been bestowing blessings upon her (usually in the form of sex with The Shallow Man), and now the Fates are showing favor to Hayden once again by granting her a large bosom (a gift that other women have to pay good money to plastic surgeons for).
It boggles the mind to think that just a year ago Hayden Panettiere was a common gutter slut with a boxy flat-chested impish body. Now she is a fully blossomed woman whose body gives testament to the greatness of The Shallow Man.
Jennifer Lawrence attempts being sexy in the disturbing swimsuit video above. Clearly this video is from Jennifer’s audition for “The Hunger Games,” as this appears to be the lead up to the scene in which Jennifer’s character “Katniss” sucks off the other tributes in the enchanted forest to prevent another troll war…or something.
Last Mother’s Day, I got drunk and slept all day because my mother is dead and my wife isn’t my mother although she’s fat enough to look like she’s pregnant with me…but that doesn’t count.
I did go outside and see a lot of people together who looked like they didn’t want to be together—disappointment and resentment everywhere. I saw new families trying to look excited and I saw a few lonely girls with no babies, angry at their younger sisters for beating them to the filled-up uterus. But most importantly, I saw a chick tanning topless. I think she really grasped the meaning of Mother’s Day: showing titties I want to suck and feed off of like the 3-year-old on the cover of Time magazine. Sometimes leaving the house isn’t that bad…
Anyhoo, here are more sexy pics of the heavenly Angel Locsin. Enjoy, sluts!
Katy Perry is Photoshopped in latex…and although her skin looks clear and lovely for a change, she’s still annoying as fuck—but at least she has tits.
Katy’s tits took her places she didn’t deserve to go, by taking focus away from her flaws like her dumpy ass and the fact she can’t sing or dance. Katy’s tits got her on the radio making music we all hate but know the words to because her shit is programmed to brainwash us.
I know how the record industry works. She’s a busty pawn I can’t stand, but unfortunately, like every other dude, I’m won over by the tits. Tits is all it really takes to get by and here she is in some latex.
Anne Hathaway is playing Fantine, some poor bitch in the movie version of “Les Miserables.” Her character dies and leaves her orphaned kid to fend for herself.
Her daughter is played by Amanda Seyfried and none of this French Revolution Broadway musical shit matters. What matters is that being a poor dying hooker in the 19th century means Anne Hathaway, someone already not fat to begin with, had to drop another 20 pounds, and I fucking love skinny girls! Eating disorders, negative body images, 1 percent fat on their body…is fucking porn to me.
Maybe because I married an obese bitch, maybe because I am obese, maybe because I know it’s some inner torment, or maybe because I like pelvic bones and toned stomachs—who cares? She’s in a bikini and at her hottest right now!
